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When’s the right time to have a kid

Category: money , Stories
24-May-2013

Teen mom. Img: fanpop.com

Teen mom. Img: fanpop.com

Did you know that Romeo and Juliette were just 12 when they wanted to get married? Back then, no one found it disturbingly odd.

History shows that the age for having your first child is consistently going up. My mom had me when she was 25, and many women of her generation (born 1959) had their first kid at age 20-22.

Huffington post offers an interesting article on when’s the best time to have a baby. Biologically, that would be late teens to early twenties: your body is stronger, and so are your hormones. You have more energy to run after your two-year old, and those sleepless nights when the youngster explores their vocal abilities take less of a toll on you. (Also, you should have your last baby before 35. You can still have kids after 35, but it’s pretty hard on your body.)

One WSJ reader, however, disagrees:

“I really resent all this “too tired to parent” talk. I had my kids relatively late (late 30′s through early 40′s), and while my job sucks the energy right out of me, I don’t think it was any different when I was 28. My job sucked the energy out of me back in those days too. In any case, I think we are more active with our kids than most of the 20-something parents I see around me. We bike with the kids, we go camping, we travel, and we even take our kids running with us. My older 2 have run several 5 mile races with us, and hopefully our youngest will get interested in a year or two as well. I can’t imagine what a terrible parent I would have been in my 20′s – I was so clueless back then.”

And maybe it’s all relative, after all:

“I had my first at 25, my fifth at 34. I was tired with all of them, but recovering at 34 took a little longer, plus I kept 10 pounds. My sister got married at 40 and had her two kids at 41 and 43; she had more energy than I had.”

Nature designed women’s bodies to be able to bear children as soon as they start having a period. But nowadays, we don’t follow Nature’s schedule because our chances of survival no longer depend on our physical traits only. Our (and our offspring’s) well-being also depends on social approval, financial stability and how mature we are as parents.
Speaking of financial stability, it doesn’t mean that you need to be making tons of money before you have a kid. It means you need to be managing your money well – and that’s something that doesn’t automatically come with age. Look at that interesting letter from a reader over at TSD:

“We made $164k last year combined and saved only 2% of my husbands earnings in a 401k. No other money was saved! We spent $50k traveling, took a second honeymoon to Bora Bora, took the kids to California 6 times, went to Ohio […]

But it makes me sick we don’t have the $7000 for the IRS. We live paycheck to paycheck and […] we make a lot more than the “average” American family. We have a modest house based on our income, we owe $178k.
[We want to change our bad financial habits.]

Oh, and how do I explain it to my kids, ages 11 and 14? We just [went] to Hawaii for 9 days to celebrate our 14yr olds bday last month and spent $10k. So now our 11yr old expects that in June for his bday. He keeps talking about Costa Rica. How do I explain we are making changes meaning “Hey son, we love you as much as your sister, but here’s a playstation 3 instead?”

Obviously, just because you make a lot of money doesn’t mean you manage it well. And just because you are older doesn’t mean you are more mature than when you were 20.

But it’s still better to be a great earner and poor money manager than vice versa. Young adults who have their first kid before their first paycheck are in for a lot of trouble. Children come with a huge pricetag for diapers, formula, strollers, clothes, childcare and whatnot; not to mention the time drain.

That being said, you have to wonder why poor people tend to have their first child sooner than rich people. It seems counter-intuitive – shouldn’t it be the other way around? The poorer you are, the more time you need to achieve some stability in your life, right? Yet those who have little or nothing don’t sweat over having a baby, while those who have enough seem to wait forever, as if things are never good enough for them.

Check out this article from The Atlanic:

…teen childbearing is a symptom of living a life full of obstacles. Facing limited education and job prospects, as well as a slim chance of finding a suitable man to marry, some low-income girls simply ask, “Why not have a baby now?”

[Research shows] that the problems teen mothers experience are mostly driven by their socio-economic background, not her decision to have a baby early in life.

This view also helps explain why income inequality seems to encourage teen pregnancy. [G]irls from disadvantaged backgrounds who live in places with a larger gap between the poor and the middle class are considerably more likely to give birth as a teen than girls who have similar backgrounds, but face less inequality. Income inequality is strongly linked to lower economic mobility — the ability to improve one’s station in life. And so our findings seem to suggest that girls who don’t see a chance to better their lives are more likely to have a child.

That means that lower-class people have their first child sooner because they don’t have a good reason to wait. While middle- and upper-class people aim to get a college degree, a good job and maybe a downpayment on a house, the lower class don’t even hope for that stuff. It’s out of their reach.

Imagine how life looks to a lower-class twenty-year old girl. She’s works at McDonald’s ever since high-school and she shares a trailer with her single parent and three siblings. What are her prospects? She knows she can’t afford college – and without a degree, she’ll probably still be working at McDonald’s ten years from now. Even if she decided to put off having a baby, what does she have to hope for later?

Note how different things look if you come from a middle-class family. You have college to look forward to. You have a good job to look forward to. Maybe you’ll have a promotion to look forward to. But if you go on maternity leave, it will slow down your career because your employer would pass your promotion over to someone who won’t spend the next year changing diapers. That’s why middle-class women have a good reason to put off having their first child until they’ve reached a more secure level in their career.

Sophia wrote a comment on wsj.com:

“I had my first child at 35 and will have my second at 37. I definitely think having a child earlier would have been physically easier, but I was definitely not emotionally and financially ready. Also, since I have more tenure in my industry and with my company, I have more autonomy and more confidence in my abilities, so I can better balance spending time with my family and not feel *as much* facetime pressure if I were still at the earlier stages in my career.”

So it makes sense to have a baby not at your biological peak (late teens / early 20s) but a somewhat later, when your career has reached a more mature stage.

Lower-class women don’t have that issue, because they don’t have careers. The McDonald’s guys are not very picky – you can take a year off to take care of your baby, or five years, and they’ll still hire you right back. The problem here is that working at McDonald’s is a job, not a career, and the difference is that a career is actually going somewhere. Lower-class women can’t benefit from the advantages of a career, and so they prefer to exploit the advantages of young age.

Is it possible that by having a kid early, poor people miss out even the tiny chances they have for a better life? A baby comes with huge financial costs which make the mother’s money situation even worse.

However, The Atlanic article said that “the problems teen mothers experience are mostly driven by their socio-economic background, not her decision to have a baby early in life.” Meaning, she didn’t become poor because she ruined her life by having a baby too soon; SHE WAS POOR TO BEGIN WITH. (See 10 tips: Improve your chance of getting rich)

If a baby’s going to interfere with you having a better life, or if you could provide a better life for your baby by having it later, then you have good reason to wait. But for those girls who don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel – “why not have a baby now?”

Britney Spears interviews: hosts say “You know you’re lucky, right?”

Category: Getting rich , Psychology of money
19-May-2013
Britney Spears 2002 interview at the Oprah show

Britney Spears 2002 interview at the Oprah show

I’m a Britney Spears fan ever since high-school and “…Baby One More Time”. After I graduated and became a working girl, I’d often watch her interviews to relax after work.

Britney would talk to Jay Leno or Oprah or some other famous host, and pretty much every interview she’s done – from 1999 to 2013 – would have something of this fashion:

Host: “You’ve achieved quite a lot for someone so young!”

Britney: “Thank you, you’re very kind.”

Host: “People tend to only see the glamorous side of your life – private jets and TV appearances and fancy clothes, – but is that all there is to it?”

Britney: “Well, there is that side of it and I’m very thankful that I’m able to enjoy it. But there’s a lot of hard work, too. Like, a lot. We’ll do a video shoot and instead of wrapping up at 10 pm, we’ll stay until like 2 or 3 am, or sometimes I’ll work 10 straight hours without even a bathroom break…”

NOTE: Her hair stylist said somewhere, “I was called at 2 am to do Britney’s hair. I went to the studio in the middle of the night, I was cold, I wanted to go back to bed, and I was cranky. On top of that, Britney wouldn’t sit still for a moment, she would just, turn her head around, talk to people… she was making my job impossible! I thought, Why does she do that, why won’t she just sit still for one darn minute? I mean, I’m working late, and it’s 2 am! And then it occurred to me: Britney was working late too. I was called out of bed, but she didn’t go to bed at all.”

Host: “But at least you get paid very well – I mean, other people work as hard as you but they get seven bucks an hour.”

Britney: “Yeah, I know.”

Host: “You’re lucky, Britney, you know that, right?”

Britney: “Yes, I’m very lucky, I know.”

What amazed me was that Britney agreed with them – every single interview. She says “Yes, I’m lucky.” She also puts an emphasys on very – “very lucky”. That means she really believes it (and had excellent training by her PR people.)

Watching those Britney interviews, I was thinking – God, if I was in her place, I’d hit the table with my fist and say NO, I’m NOT lucky, I’ve worked my ASS OFF for this! How can they just brush off her accomplishments by branding them “lucky”?

See, if you had talked to me a year ago, I would have told you I don’t believe in luck.
Back then, I had these two co-workers, Nina and Jane. I came to work one morning and saw Nina arranging chocolate-chip cookies, cake and OJ on a table.

“Nina just sold a property,” Jane informed me. She helped herself to a cookie. “How much did you make off it, Nina?”

“Well, I’m no millionaire yet, but it was a nice windfall” – Nina said. “We’ll use the money to repair some leaks in our budget. Money’s never enough, you know.”

“Oh don’t play humble, Nina” – Jane frowned. “Your budget’s fine. You got assigned to two extra projects and you also got promoted last year… You’re just so lucky.”

“Lucky?!” Nina was offended. “I worked hard for this!”

“Oh come on! It’s not just about hard work and you know it! I work just as hard, but no one gave me a promotion and two extra projects!”

Alright, that was a meanie, but was it possible there was some truth in it? Let’s get past Nina and Jane and take a look at the company as a whole. Or any company. The people who get promoted aren’t always the ones who deserve it. And if my recent short, but troublesome job-hunt has taught me anything, it’s that you don’t always get what you think you deserve.

Soon after college, I got myself a pretty good job – I had an air-conditioned office with free coffee and never worked more than 40 hours a week. At the same time, some of my college mates stocked shelves in the supermarket or served coffee to spoiled schoolkids. I was much better off compared to them, but I didn’t see myself as lucky. I saw myself as better: better at English, better at resume writing, and better at interviewing. I was priviledged to have a good job only because I had worked hard for it. All those hours I spent alone in my dorm with a textbook finally paid off. I totally deserved it!

Or so I thought back then.

See, in the years that followed – almost a decade now – I developed a new theory. Yes, I had worked hard at school, but I was lucky that my parents encouraged my learning. Dad taught me how to write when I was 5, and mom held my hand as I struggled to write a decent “M”. They spent a lot of time asking about my day at school, asking about my homework assignments, encouraging me, and helping me draw a triangle.

In contrast, there was this boy on our street whose mom had died of cancer, and his dad was always drunk (and creepy). They lived with the boy’s grandparents so there were three adults and one kid in the household, yet he often got by on sandwiches and mustard – because no one cared enough to make him a cooked meal. Let alone pay attention to how he was doing at school.

Yes, I did get into a good college, but I was lucky that I could afford to spend time preparing for the admission exam. I didn’t have a sibling to babysit. I didn’t have to do farming to help my family put food on the table. I didn’t suffer through a bitter divorce or a drinking parent.

In contrast, one of my classmates had a hard time at school because her parents got divorced when she was 10. Both of them re-married and both had another kid. Neither her mom nor her dad paid much attention to her or her grades. I thought she’d start waitressing right out of high-school, marry some random guy with a tattoo, and then divorce him before their kids reach three.

To my pleasant surprise, it turned out she wanted to go to college and get a diploma. She thought her only ticket to a better life was a college degree and this had turned into a fixation to her. (If obsession could ever be a good thing, I think this is it.) Her parents couldn’t care less about her education and didn’t help her at all. She told me once how she got by on two burgers a day and how she only had one pair of jeans throughout her four college years.

When she got her degree, she was working at a low-paying job at the Statistics beaurau. Then when a local bank advertised a job-opening, she applied and got herself this great, well-paid job.

Air-conditioning and all.

* * *

Since I started working seven years ago, I’ve always been with good employers. I’ve always had regular working hours, sick days, and full benefits. I thought this was something I had achieved throught my hard work and that it was what I deserved.

In retrospect though, I see that LUCK was actually a big factor. Yes, I did all the preparation I could, but I also had the opportunity to apply my preparation.

Now that I have this really great job, every day I feel happy and grateful that this happened to me. I no longer think I’m entitled to it. The coin could have easily flipped NO instead of YES, because that’s just how life works.

Britney’s coin flipped on SUPERSTARDOM; but what if miss Spears had, in one of the many little crossroads we get in life, what if she had taken just one wrong turn? After all, I’m sure Britney wasn’t the only cute southern girl in Louisiana who could also sing. And Lynn Spears sure wasn’t the only supportive mom who thought her child was talented.
Maybe, if miss Spears’ luck cheated on her just a couple of times, you wouldn’t see her name on a star at Holliwood lane – but on a nametag pinned to her uniform as she works the dayshift for Kentwood’s KFC.

We can never know for sure what would have been. That’s exactly why Britney Spears says “Yeah, I know, I’m very lucky.”

And that goes for me, too.

How to get a good job in the recession: start any job, then keep looking

Category: Stories
16-May-2013

(continued from Job hunting during recession)

Halfway through my 10 days, I got a phone call through a recruitment agency for another position. After a brief phone-interview, the consultant said she would arrange for me to interview with the company. Their main business was tyres, and I was going to interview for the Supply department.

The tyres company had a better-looking office, but a worse location – on the outskirts of town. “I’m fine with location as long as there’s no overtime,” I thought. The more I had considered different scenarios for my job, the more I had come to realize that my #1 priority was REGULAR HOURS. I wanted a job where everything – breaks, vacation days, sick leave and so on – was NORMAL. By the law. No illegal stuff like unpaid overtime or money under the table. I wanted to know that come 5:30, I can go home to my man. I wanted to know that when we have a baby, I’d be able to go on maternity leave with full benefits. Was that too much to ask? (Apparently – yes.)

My interview was with the company owner, and some female worker was present. The owner was very proud of his company, especially compared to other firms in the region. He even kinda bragged a little.

We went through the standard questions like previous place of employment, why did I think myself suitable for this position and did I speak English well? Luckily, they didn’t use “advanced” HR questions – you know, like which color describes you best or what animal you’d like to be.

Finally, we came to my favorite question: money.

“Well,” I said, “before we get into that, I’d like to say that right now, money is not the most important factor for me when I weigh job offers. Instead, I need to be certain that there are regular working hours because I don’t have the option to stay after hours. I don’t mean that I’ll never stay late or that I’ll always shut down the computer at 5:30 and not care about anything… I understand that sometimes it’s necessary to stay in late, and that’s no problem, as long as it does not become routine.”

The female worker didn’t say anything while I said that, but she lowered her head and started looking at her hands. That was a bad sign. “Hmm,” I thought, “I guess that’s not the case here.” Her body language was pretty clear on that.

“I often visit the office on Saturdays,” the owner said, “and I usually find staff here. It’s not that I make them come, but they still choose to do so. Anyway, you still haven’t given us a number yet about the pay.”

I specified a pay range. They said they’ll let me know.

Several days later, the HR agency called me and said the company had decided to “continue with another applicant.” I had lost to a thirty-something woman with more experience, and more job-relevant experience. “There wasn’t anything specific that they didn’t like about your application,” the consultant said almost apologetically. “They just decided to go with a more experienced professional.”

More experienced? That job wasn’t rocket science. My hunch was that the other lady probably wasn’t as “demanding” as I was about regular working hours. Also, she probably had kids already, meaning she wasn’t likely to go on maternity leave.

* * *

I reluctantly polished my shoes and ironed my clothes in preparation for my first day at the overtime job.

Now my 10 days were almost up. No one else had called me. I was particularly grieving over this one company that I had really, really hoped for. It was a big company with the reputation of a great employer – they offered regular hours, no cheap tricks like overtime or money under the table, and they also covered food and transportation costs.

I had done two interviews with them already, which I thought went really well. I was excited for a short while after that, thinking I might actually get the job, but they had fallen silent since my second interview two weeks ago.

“It’s just not fair,” I whined to my fiancée. “They are the one company I’d really love to work at! How come I get calls from crappy little firms but not from them? Not fair!”
“There’s still time, they might still call” – he soothed.
“Oh really?”, I hissed. “It’s been two weeks!”
“They like to take their time,” he said. “They’ll call.”

* * *

And then they did. They really did! I was in for a third interview.

Meanwhile, I had already started the overtime job. “But how am I gonna make it?”, I asked my future husband. “I only have a one-hour lunch break. The interview will take at least thirty minutes, and then there’s travel time?”

“Why are you even worried about that? If it goes well, you’ll quit this job anyway, so what do you care?”
“But if it doesn’t, I’ll be stuck at this job, and I’ll also be frowned upon for being late and using work hours for personal stuff.”
“It will go well, I know it; and if anyone says anything about you being late, you can play dumb since you’re new and…”
“…and it will be a first-time offense,” I finished up.

* * *

The interview did go well, and now I could reasonably expect a job offer. Only I couldn’t know for sure. Even if they offered me the job eventually, it could be another month for all I knew. Or two months. These people liked to take things slow.

I wondered if I should tell the overtime people that I quit. My fiancée said yes. But what if I didn’t get that job offer? I’d be jobless again, flat on my ass.

The overtime people spent quite a few days training me, doing paperwork for my contract, and showing me around. They engaged staff to set up my email account, access chip and training protocol. Did I feel bad about secretly interviewing with other companies? Sure. And about having secretly planned to quit since interview day? Yup. Continuing to job-hunt wasn’t the best conduct on my part.

Then again, making you work overtime and paying you under the table wasn’t the best conduct on their part, either. They had to take care of their best interest, and I had to take care of mine. I kept my mouth shut.

* * *

I had spent one week (and half a Saturday) working for the overtime people when the big company finally moved with their offer. I was glad to accept it. Money was a bit lower, but with transport and food costs generously covered, things evened out.

Actually, things more than evened out. While the overtime job paid slightly better, there was a lot of overtime. I calculated that when you factor in all the overtime hours (1 hour a day) plus the Saturday (5 hours) plus that half an hour on Monday mornings, it adds up to about 10 extra hours a week or 40 extra hours a month. 40 extra hours a month! That’s one whole workweek you do on top of the regular hours, only you don’t get extra pay.

Now that I had a job offer, I had to tell my current employer that I quit, effective immediately.“But what’s wrong with our company?,” the owner asked me. “Didn’t you like it here? Didn’t you like the job?”

I told him I liked the job and the team and everything. I said nothing about the long hours and the money under the table. I just couldn’t be bothered. No matter what I told him, he would continue to believe that he was providing a great work environment and that those extra hours were not a big deal since the pay was – in his own opinion – great. I had no intention to argue with him, because nothing I could say would make a difference.

I wondered why his team put up with the long hours. They actually didn’t seem to mind. Maybe it was because they were all pretty young, early twenties or fresh out of college. Many were still living with their parents, which meant they didn’t have to spend time grocery shopping, cooking, maintaining a home, a car, or taking the dog out. It seemed like they didn’t have anything too special to do in their free time. Maybe by putting in long hours, they felt more… adult? I don’t know.

But all that is behind me now. Now, I have a job I love with great conditions of employment. There are other changes going on, so I don’t know if I could get back to my old rylthm of posting, but I’ll do my best.

Stay tuned for more news soon :)

Job-hunting during recession

Category: Jobs
11-May-2013

(continued from Here’s why oDesk didn’t work for me: my struggle to find a job in the recession)

Jumping through hoops to get a job... ANY job... Img src: dryastoast.com

Jumping through hoops to get a job… ANY job… Img src: dryastoast.com

In my experience, oDesk was a dud. Maybe it works if you have tons of patience to browse all the ads, if you have time to cover the requirements for application (free work!) and if you are ready to do the job for a humble pay. I thought that wages at oDesk would be higher and I thought that if I work for foreign clients, the pay rate would make me a fortune by Bulgarian standards.

So pay was low, and the projects weren’t really inspiring – being a virtual assistant and working around the US clock, writing homework for а spoiled brat, or producing spammy content for some shady website wasn’t exactly the kind of freelance I wanted. How’s that even *freelance*? That’s just mundane work. I decided that my time would be better spent if I worked on something more… tangible.

I’m not saying the idea of oDesk doesn’t work; I’m just saying it didn’t work in my situation. It’s one thing to build your freelance path when you feel financially secure – like when you have a good job – and totally different when you’re unemployed and out of money. Freelancing, much like building a business, doesn’t happen overnight. It demands a big investment of time, money, and effort. I had to find a job first, and soon.

And what do you know – I was just signing out of oDesk and closing windows when my phone rang. My fiancée actually FROZE when I excitedly said “Unknown number!” and picked up. “I have a job interview tomorrow!!”, I yelled out. “Will you drive me?” Of course he would.

* * *

My future husband was behind the wheel, driving me to my interview. I could see the reflection of my jacket, on a hanger at the back of the car, swinging slightly.

While he was looking for a parking space, I was thinking about the interview. I had to get a job as soon as possible. We had used up the tiny savings we had in our joint account, and also the bigger heap of money in my account. There wasn’t much left, and the more my balance approached to zero, the more I was starting to freak out.

“Don’t just take any job at all costs,” he told me. “Take your time. Even if you don’t work for a few months, we’ll be fine.”

“No, we won’t be fine,” I said.
“Why not? We have food on the table. We have a roof over our heads. It will be tight, but we’ll be okay.”
“That’s not us being ‘okay’, that’s us just ‘getting by’. For us to be okay, we need to be making progress: saving up.”
“We’ll get there. It just might be a few months while you find a job you like.”
“But if I wait that long, we won’t be able to have the wedding this year. Or a baby next year. And what about bigger things like buying land for passive income or being free from our jobs? And you know I want us to buy a house – I don’t want us to live in a flat until we get sixty.”

He sighed. “You know how much I want to have our wedding this year. But if it doesn’t happen, we’ll do it next year. Big deal.” He paused while parking the car and turned off the engine. Then he turned towards me, one hand on the wheel, one hand on my thie. “Don’t take this job at any cost. If you don’t like their offer, say no. We’ll be fine.”

I smiled. “They haven’t offered me the job yet.”
He smiled back. “They will.”

I got out of the car, put my jacket on, and crossed the street. Waiting for the owner to meet me for my interview, I thought about my possible courses of action. I needed a job bad enough to lower my standards and compromise to some extent. How far? I wasn’t sure. I just knew I wouldn’t jump on any offer.

The business owner, interviewing me for a sales position, was a young and pleasant man. The office was not so pleasant – two small flats joined together, with boxes of carton lying around, and a bunch of computers lined up by the wall. It seemed a little messy. “Hey – I said to myself, – lower standards, remember?” The office wasn’t great, but it wasn’t a dealbreaker, either.

As the interview progressed, two things became obvious:
1) they really wanted to hire me;
2) even with my new “lower” standards, their offer was unacceptable.

Working hours were 8:30-18:30 with a 1-hour break for lunch, so that’s nine working hours a day instead of eight, and no overtime pay. I brought the issue up, and the owner said “Yeah but you get two breaks a day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon.” I seriously doubted those breaks would be thirty minutes each to make up for the extra hour. I didn’t say anything.

We also had to work Saturdays 8:30-13:30 (no lunch break). On Monday, we had to come in at 8:00 instead of 8:30 (another extra half hour) for a “weekly meeting”. The company offered the minimum of social and health benefits so half my salary was going to be under the table.

Too bad.

The team was young and everyone seemed nice. The owner seemed nice. The work itself was interesting and with a lot of freedom in decision making. This was the bright side, but it wasn’t bright enough to offset the long hours and being paid under the table. Hours were too long.

So I countered: I told them I can only work until 17:30. They were concerned about how the rest of the team would feel about this – me getting special treatment – but eventually they agreed, with no cut in the initial pay they had offered. Saturdays were still on and they wanted me to start ASAP.

I countered again and said I needed 10 days (I wanted to buy myself some time and hopefully get a call from another company before I start here). They agreed. We shook hands.

Normally, I wouldn’t even consider a job offer with such conditions. But during my job search, I had realized that most employers were expecting that you work overtime for no extra pay. Saturdays. Sundays. Staying late or coming in early. That seemed to be the new normal. No one seemed to care that this was not only NOT normal, but also ILLEGAL.

Well, at least now I’d start bringing some money home and we could slowly replenish our drained accounts.

(Read next part: How to get a good job in the recession: start any job, then keep looking)

Here’s why oDesk didn’t work for me: my struggle to find a job in the recession

Category: Jobs
07-May-2013

Img src: investmentpostcards.com

Img src: investmentpostcards.com

Two months ago, I left my home town and moved to my fiancee’s town. It was March 4th, 2013.

I had a job waiting for me and that made me feel good. At least the job transition was going to be smooth.

But as I shared with you here: Unemployed and depressed? You are not alone , things at my new job were so out of whack that I only stayed for two weeks.

As rewarding it was to march in that office and announce that I quit, soon after that fear started creeping in. I didn’t have another job secured. I could rely only on my savings (and perhaps on unemployment checks), and I had no idea whether I’ll survive until I get a job.

The first few days of unemployment were fun. I had sent out resumes and since there wasn’t much else I could do, I decided to make the most out of this break. I played Zuma, read books, and just… relaxed. I hadn’t had a break like this since… three years ago? Yeah, that’s right. Woah!

It was nice at first, but then it started to eat at me. I couldn’t go on like this forever. From all the resumes I had sent out – like about 10 or 15 – I got ZERO calls. I couldn’t believe it.

After a week of staring at my silent cell-phone, I decided I couldn’t afford to be picky. I couldn’t afford to apply for good jobs only. WE REALLY ARE IN RECESSION, AFTER ALL.

So I widened my criteria and started applying not only for jobs which were a great match for me, but also for jobs that were a looser match. My plan was to start some job and keep looking for a better offer.

Even with “widened criteria”, I was ready to only compromise so far. I needed some job, but not any job. Unfortunately, the job market was nothing like what it used to be a couple of years back. I had to cast a wider net. So how about freelance?

I searched online for writing jobs (my search was “script-writers wanted”). The online search landed me on one interesting ad –new comic book looking for script-writers, all interested applicants to submit one full-story of 40 scenes. I got right on that! It seemed fun and interesting. I got so carried away that I didn’t even ask about pay. They liked the story and asked me to do four sequels. “Four?!”, I thought. “But the first issue won’t be released until September, which means that I won’t get my humble remuneration until maybe Christmas! And that is IF they keep their word and really do pay me.” It seemed too time-consuming and also vague way beyond my tolerance level, so I dropped it. “Maybe one of these days, when I have nothing to do, I’ll write a sequel,” I thought.

I also registered at oDesk. Registration took me half a day with all the tests they require you to pass, but once that was behind me, I eagerly browsed the ads. “Hey, maybe God or The Universe or whatever wants me to look into self-employment! Maybe this is my chance to take a new road and make money through my writing!” I was just short of having dollar-signs pop in my eyes.

At oDesk, there were pages and pages and pages of job-listings, and that was just the writing-related category. I was also looking in miscelanious categories which featured jobs like gathering 1200 contacts online and pasting them into Excel.

Since I was a new user, I had a limit on how many applications I could send. I thought that was going to be an issue.

Actually, there was a much bigger issue. I had picked the ads based on their title, and after I took a closer look, I realized that I didn’t qualify for even half of them. Many ads demanded a native English speaker or only wanted oDesk users with a certain user rating (meaning first-time users were off the table), or someone with references (again, first-time users can go screw themselves).

On top of that, the few ads I could apply for demanded several writing samples of 500 words or more (500 words is about one page) – which basically meant a great investment of time towards uncertain results. Also, there were many jobs for writing unique website content centered around a dozen keywords. “Hmmm,” I thought, “if I’m going to write unique, quality web-content, I’m better off writing for my own website.” I logged out of oDesk and haven’t logged ever since.

(read next part here: Job hunting during recession)

Three articles that will change your life

Category: Getting rich , Psychology of money
16-Apr-2013

So I sat down to write you guys a post, but while researching some stuff online, I came upon these three AWESOME articles. And instead of giving you a mediocre, rushed, must-post-something kind of post, I decided to do you a favor and bring your attention to these gems here.

Seriously, it’s great stuff. Maybe even revolutionary. I wish more people knew this.

“Six things richs people need to STOP SAYING,” by David Wong (cracked.com)

“How ‘Karate Kid’ ruined the modern world,” by David Wong (cracked.com)

“6 harsh truths that will make you a better person,” by Dabid Wong (cracked.com)

I hereby pronounce David Wong a genius. And a very talented writer. Cheers!

A Bulgarian in America (3): visa interview at US embassy

Category: Stories
10-Apr-2013
This is part 2 of the story about how I spent one summer working in the USA. (Read part 1 and part 2) I was thinking of turning this into a book. Here’s an exerpt.

us flag“What’s that?” – security asked me, pointing at my plastic bottle of water.
“Water”, I answered. What does it look like, big guy?

I had heard rumors about the security guys being overprotective: one student had told me that when security saw a perfume bottle in her purse, they made her spray herself with it to prove it wasn’t acid. But my bottle of water was plastic, and it’s not possible to keep acid in a plastic bottle.

“I’m gonna ask you to drink from it”, security told me.

I unscrewed the cap and took a couple of sips. I felt that explaining basic chemistry to them wouldn’t do the trick. Not after 9-11.

I left my cell phone at the checkpoint and went into the waiting room. It featured two lines of seats, back-to-back; an electronic information board with numbers, and four or five counters where you were to show your papers. That’s where The Great American Visa Interview was happening.

There weren’t enough seats for everyone and some applicants had to wait standing. However, I got lucky with a seat, and double lucky because my seat was looking towards the counters and I could observe the interview process.

One interviewer was a man, a little chubby and boldish, looked like a hearty fellow. He was interviewing a boy who couldn’t answer any of the questions; he couldn’t even say “My name is” in English. The American laughed, then asked the boy: “How are you going to make it in the US when you barely speak English?

The boy obviously didn’t understand what the American had just said, but still he smiled back and nodded. Well that boy’s not going anywhere this summer, I thought. No America for you, mister. The American kept talking, smiling and shaking his head while stamping some papers and finally told the boy…

“Congratulations, you’ll have a visa. Next!”.

Bummer!

At the counter right next to this one, there was a woman doing interviews. She had a boy who spoke English just fine. She gave him the standard questions – why do you want to go, do you have relatives in the USA, do you have family in Bulgaria.

“Usit”, the WAT agency, had warned us about these questions. “They want to make sure that you’ll all come back to Bulgaria after your WAT program. They don’t need any more immigrants, especially illegal ones. So ideally, J-1 applicants will have no relatives or even friends in the USA. Everything that might prompt you to abuse your visa and stay longer than allowed is a red flag; everything that might be a reason for you to come back here is a plus: family, family business, serious relationship etc.”

The embassy woman opened the boy’s student grade book.

“I see you’ve only taken one exam for the whole year”, she said. He stuttered something about his student grade book being signed and sealed, and said he was a legitimate freshman.

“Really? What kind of a student are you when you’ve only taken one exam? I think that’s suspicious”.

The boy started explaining again, but she was already stamping him.

“I’m sorry, but under these circumstances we can’t issue a J-1 visa for you. Try again next year. Good luck. Next!”

“Next” was me.

* * *

“Hi, how are you” – the woman said without looking at me.

Oh God, I got the meanie, I thought. What do I do?

I wasn’t used to the American custom of saying “how are you” to everyone and everything, and I was a little startled as to what I should say back. I decided to play it safe and only said “Fine, thank you”. I later found out that this reply was almost perfect – the perfect being “Fine, thank you; how are you”.

She asked me why I had chosen this major, asked me if I liked it, then gave me the standard questions.

She closed my file and said “Congratulations”.

* * *

Gathering my stuff from the checkpoint on my way out, I saw the rain had stopped and the sun was shining. My hands were slightly shaking. I was going to get a visa!

Despite all my fears and worries so far, right then at the checkpoing, I had just one thought:

I am going to see AMERICA!