5 tips: How to get my husband to stop spending so much money

Okay, it bugs me. It bugs me when I try to save us money and next thing I see, my husband’s wasting money on stuff we don’t need. I “make-do” or “do without” and all he does is un-do it. Honey, I love you, but we have to do something about that spending.

Take yesterday for example. We were about to go for a walk before dinner, and I thought it was a good idea to have snack so I wouldn’t starve. And I wouldn’t spend money on outside-food. And there were those delicious pancakes his grandma had sent over.

“You should snack on something too,” I told my big man. He was getting dressed already.
“No, I’m not hungry, let’s go before it gets dark.”
“Still – [munch, munch] – here, take one. You’ll get ‘ungry.”
“No baby I told you I’m not hungry, now are you ready yet? Hurry up!”

We were out of the building in two minutes, thanks to my multitasking abilities (munching pancakes and getting dressed). About two more minutes later, he says:

“Hey, little owl*, let’s get some peanuts from the store.”
“Now? We’re on a walk!”

How I moved on after my dad died: my success story

When you make a Big Strategic Choice, it’s not about doing something big, once. It’s about making many tough little choices, over and over.

Getting fit, for example – let’s say that’s your Big Strategic Choice. Hitting the gym for one big workout three hours straight would be a bad decision because the next day you’ll be sore all over and you will have no visible results. Instead, you have to make lots of everyday little choices in line with your Big Strategic Choice. That would mean eating an apple instead of a chocolate, and taking the stairs instead of taking the elevator. (More on that in Why the rich are rich and the fat are fat.)

Read moreHow I moved on after my dad died: my success story

Are we rich or poor?

Image: MikeAndMollysHouse.com
Image: MikeAndMollysHouse.com
I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways we spend our money lately. And I came to wonder how we look to other people.

If you look at me in my casual, slightly worn-out clothes on my way to the grocery, and you notice the wind playing with the cloth bag in my hand, you’d think I don’t look very classy. You’d see old trainers on my feet, and maybe you’d catch a glimpse of my shopping list as I put it in my pocket – a shopping list that’s written on the back of a calendar sheet reading “GUST”. (When I tear off calendar sheets, I cut them into really small pieceds and then staple the little ones together to later use for notes… or shopping lists.) Judging by what you saw when I walked past you, you’d think I look like someone who counts the pennies in their hand. (Which I do.)

Let’s say you follow me to the store and watch me shop. You’d see me regularly check my shopping list and only take the items which go there. Those would be things like meat, fruit, white cheese, bread – and usually no potato chips, instant meals or pre-cooked food. In other words, I only buy meal ingredients, stuff that’s used for cooking and no junk or lazy food. Seeing that, you’d again think I look like someone who is… well… poor.

Read moreAre we rich or poor?

Obsessed with saving money? Buying cheap ends up expensive

I recently wrote a post titled My husband spends too much money… or is it just me? I guess that since I confessed about how I flinch when my husband buys non-essentials like mustard and peanuts and how I obsess over how many squirts of liquid soap he uses to wash his hands, it’s understandable why many readers would think I have an obsession with saving.

And maybe you’d think that since I favor saving money so much, I only buy the cheapest stuff ever.

Cheap means low-quality, low-value

I think it’s a safe bet to say that the cheapest stuff out there is usually the most low-quality stuff, too.

See, in order to provide a really low price that’s well below the market average, a producer has to cut some corners. The materials that go into the product would have to be cheap. The equipment used in production would have to be low-end. The labor would have to be cheap, too, and cheap labor means bad make. (You can’t work minimum wage and tolerate your supervisor demand you give a five-star performance at the assembly line.) So you have all these factors working together to provide a low price, but they also work together to provide a really low-quality item.

Read moreObsessed with saving money? Buying cheap ends up expensive

My husband spends too much money… or is it just me?

I’m 28 and my husband’s 35. We met a year ago. Six months later we moved in together, I got pregnant and we got married. Everything is great… except that I get angry each time my husband spends money.

For example, we’re at the store and he buys potato chips. He doesn’t need them. He’s not buying them because he’s hungry. He just “wants some.” Or he takes the car to work even though he has a buss pass. He doesn’t need to take the car. He just “doesn’t feel like taking the bus today.”

Now I don’t mind it when he spends money on buying a good jacket instead of a cheap Chinese-made model. And I didn’t mind it when we recently bought a pricy range hood for the kitchen – it was actually me who insisted on not getting the cheapest one.

So I don’t have a problem with him spending money on stuff that lasts. But I do have a problem with him wasting money on everyday perishables like snacks and drinks. (I can’t even call it “food” because, well, that’s not food.) And if we want to afford the quality items in clothes and appliances, we have to cut the spending on everyday junk. We shouldn’t take the car and spend money on gas when we have a buss pass. And we shouldn’t use a lot of water when we shower.

And by “we” of course I mean you, honey.

Read moreMy husband spends too much money… or is it just me?

Top 3 biggest financial mistakes to avoid (I made them all)

silly meI never cheated in school.

My parents raised me to be a straight-A student. Not only was it important to have good grades, but also to have those good grades backed up by actual knowledge. Cheating was dishonest, wrong, and probably was one of the seven mortal sins.

Fast-forward to when I’m 25 and Farmville is on everybody’s Facebook. My 10-year old cousin shows me his farm, and it looks straight out of PIMP MY FARM. It’s huge and it’s seriously pimped. He has just about every crop and animal in the game (except maybe a unicorn)… wow! My cousin is a genius.

So I pat Einstein Junior on the shoulder. He grins, then logs out of his account to check… his other accounts? How many of these does he… TWELVE?! And He uses them to… pimp his main account?! Oh God my cousin is a sinner!

Read moreTop 3 biggest financial mistakes to avoid (I made them all)

Should I quit my job and start a business? (No)

dark early morningYou shouldn’t “should” anything.

After I googled “should I start a business,” it felt like the whole internet was trying to persuade me that indeed I should; that whatever job I had couldn’t possibly be better than running my own business, and that if I wasn’t working on a start-up already then obviously I had to “stop making excuses.”

My husband and I like the idea of having our own business one day. But currently, starting a business right now is not a good idea. We don’t have the money, and with a baby girl coming in Jan 2014, we’ll have a lot on our plate. We just recently got married (planned a wedding in three months which definitely soaked up all our energy during that time) and we’re still finishing up our apartment remodel. Don’t anyone dare tell me that we “should” be working on a startup or that if we’re not, we’re “making excuses.”

And what about you?

Read moreShould I quit my job and start a business? (No)

Newlyweds money & finance: I hide money from my husband

barbie dollWhen I was little, I thought we were very poor. There was this time when Barbie dolls were the hit – hey, their legs can bend! I thought this was so cool.

But Barbies were really expensive when they first came to Bulgaria. There was this girl that we used to play dolls with, *Jane*, and she had two or three Barbies. Her father was working abroad and that’s how they could afford it.

I didn’t have a Barbie doll. They were special. I had two or three other dolls but of the regular kind. They were nothing special.

Read moreNewlyweds money & finance: I hide money from my husband